Wait.. if you don't move does that mean you have to find a new job?

AND a new place to live, yes.

Gosh that sucks..
So one of you has to change jobs no mater what, and you both have to move no mater what.. :C

I don't think I have any useful advice for you, but I'll pray for you.

nonono...

I only have to move if we move to Nevada. If he doesn't move to Nevada, he will have to move, but I can still stay with my parents until we find a place of our own here.

And I know what you're thinking, but my parents are old-fashioned. They only let him stay over when they're both away (e.g. visiting my sister up in Seattle), or when he's over here visiting me, and the weather's really bad outside (e.g. horrible windy conditions)...because he could die in it.

I want to change jobs. Problem is I like the people where I'm at now, especially my supervisor and manager, neither of which are bossy bossy, if you know what I mean. I heard a complaint that our co-general manager works her employees in our Fresno branch like dogs, never letting them take their breaks, and holding off letting them have their lunch breaks as long as she can. She probably rarely allows them to take vacations, too. I'm afraid I might wind up with a boss like that if I get a job elsewhere, but I'm also unhappy where I am now, job-wise, especially knowing that I could never get another raise. :(

Funny, I thought you two had moved in together already.
I'd say the 2 most important questions are:

1. Which of you makes more?

2. Who has the more secure job anyway?

Looking at our last tax returns, if you take out my part-time newspaper reporting gig (which I would give up, but it's only about $2,000 per year anyway and currently most of that goes to California self-employment tax), we made within $100 of each other. I do have more money going into 401(k) and HSA though. And I think she only became eligible for her 401(k) last year.

#2 is an interesting question. I'm not about to be replaced at this job, since there's only three of us (not counting overseas people adding products to the web store). We're running out of space to store all the different products we're selling as we've expanded our offerings. Although the amount of business didn't increase much last year, it did increase. We had a fourth employee, who did some soldering and stuff, but let him go. However, what I do is the shipping and web store editing and so forth. Without me, there is no business. That they want me to come with them shows how much I mean to them.

On the other hand, there are stories of poor company performance levels and whatnot at her job, but apparently they're doing OK. She doesn't get Christmas bonus like I do, though, which suggests that her business is more on the limit. And she's just one of many people in her department, so if layoffs are needed, she could be let go, whereas I'm the only shipper in our business. They can manage for a bit when I go on trips, but only at the expense of putting off doing finances or purchasing.

The other important question is: Can we afford to live together where we are -- especially if I have to get another job, which may not be as well paying as this one? We can't afford to live together here now... We've been looking for nearly two years. We could get a cramped apartment. Neither of us wants that.

Either way, one of us needs to find another job, and I need to find a place to live (though I can keep the same arrangement I have now and rent a room in the new work place). I don't go, then I'm out of a job AND a place to live. If I do go, then she's out of a job, but at least will have a place to live. She doesn't have to move right away either. She can continue living here with her parents (which is where she lives now anyway) and working at her job until such time as we find a place for her to work there.

We're both the sort who are fearful of change, but change is coming, so we have to decide what to do about it. This could be our chance to finally get a place and have our life together -- only it'll be a few hundred miles farther east than we expected. Still, out of the noise and pollution of a big city isn't bad (from my point of view -- not hers).

However, being far from anywhere significant is scary (can't exactly pop out on a whim to join folks who are getting together in San Jose or San Francisco, no major theme parks around unless there's something in Reno that I don't know about, no beach within an hour's drive (but there is Lake Tahoe, which she says she doesn't care about -- anything she isn't used to seems to be uninteresting to her, or it's just a fundamental difference between us: I like quiet, out-of-the-way places and being among nature; she doesn't, being a city girl)).

But then I think about our lives as they are. We only ever go to the movies and some mall somewhere. Only occasionally will we go somewhere else like Discovery Kingdom (2006) or the Monterey Bay Aquarium (2007). How much of that is because we don't live together and thus only have Saturdays to ourselves (plus the travel time to get together that day, and, in summer, the time it takes me to finish my newspaper work?), and how much is just normal for us? Would we go to more interesting places if we lived together in this area, or would we be the same old keep-to-ourselves people who just go to the movies and look at things in a toy store, video store, bookstore or comics store? If the latter, well, we can do that anywhere we live. If the former, well, our "interesting places" list is considerably smaller unless it becomes a weekend trip with a stayover (or if she becomes interested in the Old West towns around the area, which I would be) -- and that's assuming her willingness to drive for more than an hour.

re: your arrangement remaining the same out there...Yeah, I was thinking you go first and stay with them, as well as look at houses and such. Once we get one, you move in first. Then I tender my resignation and join you once I've actually left Quest.

I kind of had the same idea in mind if we had gotten one here. I move in first. Then you move in after me.

Unlike those apartments we were looking at, we could even leave the house all empty for several weeks after we got it and just stop by to drop off some of our things. We don't have to move into it as soon as we get it, because we'd be on our way to owning it.

Tahoe

Yeah, I hear it's more for people who like to do one of two things...1. gamble, or 2. ski. You know me, I didn't gamble much when my family and I would go to Reno, and it would just be slots and video poker. And you know I don't ski.

At least in Reno we can go play Midway games at Circus Circus...and then donate the plushies to charity (unless they actually have Stitch ones there), or send them as gifts to our friends.

And yeah, when we move in together we probably won't go out for more than shopping and movies.

By the way, I need a Best Buy within 20 minutes of there, and a Disney Store. Heh!

I was thinking maybe a week in San Jose as a vacation, and I'd want to go to an A's or Giants game then as part of it...and Santa Cruz...and an amusement park (most likely Six Flags D.K.)...although if this whole thing doesn't happen by the end of summer, we can at least go to a game or two then. Just gotta take a day off if we want to avoid the weekend crowdiness.

Re: Tahoe

heh, well, Best Buy is in Carson City. Disney store, however, is in Reno -- an hour away (or 45 minutes from Carson City). Still, an hour ain't that bad really. We just do other stuff up there while we're at it. No more going to the mall for 15 minutes on a whim!

Re: Tahoe

Well then I might want to go to Circus Circus while we're at it. Heh!

Re: Tahoe

...or one of any other amusement places in the Reno area. Maybe one time we go to the karting place in Sparks (it has miniature golf too, so we can do that)... the planetarium... and who knows what else I haven't discovered yet (haven't even really looked at what's in Reno, focusing on what's in Minden / Carson City).

I realize we're only going to be an hour away but...

I think I'd like to spend a weekend there, you know? Like, Friday through Sunday. Not just drive them, stay a few hours, and leave.

I've always wanted to do that in Monterey, actually.

My job is willing to pay for us to take a weekend trip to the area to see how we like it, as a business expense. I mentioned that possibility to Linda, but I think her only reaction was: "How would we get there? I can't drive that far." I suggested Google Maps Street View, at least. She said her computer suddenly doesn't work right. I'll go to her place on Friday to have a look at it.

I recomend GPS...

I was under the assumption that it'd be like, you, me, Chandra and Volker all going at once.

No; they've already been there. That's where they went recently for a week, I gather. They meant just us going to check it out.

my computer

You know, I think AOL might have something to do with it, because when I don't have AOL open, Firefox works okay. Not great, but okay.

At the same time, if I open and log onto AOL first and not open Firefox until after it's logged in...that seems to help, too.

my mom has a much better idea...

I will talk to you about it this Saturday.

For #2...

Well, I'm definitely more secure in my current position than anyone in copyroom, but yeah, like, right now we're slow. If this keeps up for another few weeks, they'll start considering laying people off...but it seems to me that part-timers like Raquel's daughter CJ are at more of a risk than anyone else.

But as I said in an e-mail to Keeper, I haven't been happy there in months, and it's not just because of Debbie stressing me out. It's gotten to the point where I wake up in the morning and REALLY don't want to go in. The only thing that gets me going is the people (except Debbie, of course, but at least she's on medical leave for the next couple of months).

Plus, as I also told Keeper, there's no opportunity there for advancement, and I'm lucky to have even gotten a raise. At least at another job I'm more likely to get a raise, and maybe even move up. Just need to figure out what kind of jobs they have there, you know?

I feel your pain, back in late October I was told by my employer that they were consolidating their smaller centres into a large one in Georgia, but, despite the -30C weather here of late (yes, you read right, -22F) I don't want to move to Georgia - my wife doesn't have a job here, but she is looking (and is trained as a Canadian teacher's aide, she'd probably have to start over again in the states). So, I'm without a job if I don't go with it too.

It's not the traffic...

It's the having to sit on my butt in the car for such a long time. Even with absolutely no traffic, like our trips to Monterey and Vallejo, my butt starts to hurt like crazy. I think it's the cramped space. I also have that same sensation when I'm trying to sit at your desk for a few minutes to go somewhere online. I can't stretch out my legs, so my legs start hurting, too. Heck, I'm sitting here at this computer and have been for 40 minutes and my butt's hurting now, as well as my legs, because they can only stretch so far under this desk.

And I would've been okay living in Morgan Hill...but I got a job in San Jose before I found one in Morgan Hil. Or would you consider Morgan Hill a city, too?

Hey, here's a question...what would've happened if we had already moved in together in San Jose? Would you have had to leave that job, then? Because from what I heard, if you get a mortgage, you're stuck with it for at least several years before you're allowed to sell.

Re: It's not the traffic...

I don't know... but I guess we're lucky in that regard.

To help your legs in the car, move your seat back a bit more, maybe higher... whatever works.

And yes, Morgan Hill is a city. It's 50,000 people, for goodness' sake!

Funny anecdote: The locals call Carson City "Cartoon City" -- it's a political statement, being that it's the state capital.

Re: It's not the traffic...

No, moving my seat back and such doesn't work. I have the same problem in the movie theater, too, but so do you.