Hey folks. My only writing credit at Warner Bros. was the Animaniacs short, "Flight of the Goodfeathers" directed by my dear friend Liz Holzman. It sort of lost something, I think, between my typewriter (you read that right) and the screen....namely this prologue. The balance of the short was mostly written and boarded by Liz (I had a little input). The basic change there was that the Goodfeathers really did accomplish their 'bombing run' on Plotz's car (not just the threat of it).
I just said "They commit a bombing run to Wagner's 'Ride of the Valkyries'. Do as much Apocalypse Now visuals as you can fit. (which is why I mentioned it upfront.)
You can decide if you like it better with prologue and poop or without.
All that being said, I do not have a real problem with anyone for getting a little timid on the subject of piles of bird crap. It was always a risk.
So, without further ado, here's the never-seen script prologue for "Flight of the Goodfeathers" Enjoy!
FLIGHT OF THE GOODFEATHERS
FADE IN: COUNTRY CLUB PARKWAY
EXT. UP ANGLE ON TREE
PUSH IN to show Bobby, Squit, and Pesto perched on a branch. They're talking, but we can't hear them yet.
SQUIT (voice over)
As far back and I can remember, we Goodfeathers have held our honor more important than anything. Most folks have the common sense to know this --- y'know, instinctively. Well, little did we know, our honor was about to be put to the ultimate test.
CLOSER ON THE GOODFEATHERS
Bobby and Pesto are having an argument. Squit perches between them, watching the proceedings like a tennis match. Pesto gets progressively angrier as the argument wears on.
CLOSE ON EACH AS HE SPEAKS
The Godfather, for cryin' out loud!
CUT TO PREVIOUS ANGLE ON THE TRIO
Squit is being squashed between the two other birds and he's getting nervous.
Godfather II, you featherhead!
You take that back!
CLOSE ON BOBBY
One From The Heart.
WIDE ON THE TRIO
He smashes into Bobby (and Squit, who's in the way) and the trio is engulfed in a massive fight cloud, for a beat, then Squit’s head pokes from the fight. He notices something below.
DOWN ANGLE ON COUNTRY CLUB GROUNDS O.T.S. SQUIT
The first real view of the yard. It's luxurious, a huge pool and tennis court dominate. Plotz is relaxing on a beach chair by the pool. Next to him is a table with snackable goodies on it. There is another (empty) chair on the other side of the table.
CLOSE ON SQUIT
Hey, hey, Cut it out, guys. (whisper)
Check out the "merchandise".
The fight abruptly stops. SQUIT points
Up angle on snack-laden table. The Goodfeathers are visible about fifty feet away.
Holy Sinatra! Them crackers look imported!
CLOSE ON BOBBY
QUICK WIPE TO:
ANGLE ON PLOTZ FAVORING GOODFEATHERS
He's relaxing, reading a book while absent-mindedly grabbing a cracker and stuffing it in his mouth. The Goodfeathers approach on foot with as much stealth as they can muster.
You two wait here while I make the grab.
Pesto hops up onto the arm of the empty chair, giving him easy access to the goody table.
DOWN ANGLE ON THE PIGEONS AND PLOTZ
Lost in his book, Plotz is unaware of the proceeding. Pesto reaches toward a small box of imported crackers.
He stops and turns to look down at Bobby.
Thanks, Bobby. But I'm still gonna get you for that One From The Heart crack.
Unbeknownst to Pesto, Plotz has reached for another cracker. Pesto turns and accidently pecks PLOTZ’S hand.
WIDER ON THE GROUP
Plotz leaps up and grabs a handy garden hose with a trigger style sprayer on it. He blasts the birds up and OS
WIDER ON COUNTRY CLUB GROUNDS
PAN WITH the pigeons as they are propelled in a large arc toward a trio of skeet shoot loaders.
ON SKEET LAUNCHERS
WHAP! WHAP! WHAP! The pigeons land in three separate loaders. They are dazed and scared, clinging spread-eagled on the clay pigeons.
O.T.S. Three hunters
The pigeons are launched into the air.
Three country club sportsmen aim their rifles, draw a bead on the pigeons, and then ...
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
The clay pigeons explode left to right in a spray of crockery and feathers. The smoldering, blasted pigeons drop away.
DOWN ANGLE ON THE PIGEONS
The classic Wile E. Coyote shot. The pigeons drop away fast and smack into the ground below.
EXT. COUNTRY CLUB ROAD
ANGLE ON GOODFREATHERS
The pigeons are singed and dazed.
Ohhhh, I'm gonna get that bozo wit’ da hose and then BADA- BING! .
He punches the air, POW!
I'm gonna turn his face into fettuccini.
Ferget about it.
You ferget about it, Mr. One From The Heart!
Squit sees something o.s.
The Godpigeon steps into frame. His legs are in the extreme f.g.
REVERSE ON GODPIGEON OTS GOODFEATHERS
The Goodfeathers kiss his feet, then the Godpigeon yanks Bobby up by the shoulders and speaks to him.
SIDE ANGLE ON THE PAIR
The Godpigeon abruptly drops Bobby, turns and walks away.
Pesto and Squit step into frame.
What’d he say? What'd he say?
The Godpigeon said our honor is --- is --- besmirched!
BOBBY (quoting, puzzled)
"Revenge is a dish best served at a pasta-like temperature."
Wider on the trio
What's that supposed to mean?
I think I know, Goodfeathers.
OTS SQUIT ON BREAD TRUCK
The rear doors are open. The distracted driver is talking to a pretty girl.
CLOSE ON SQUIT
HE GRINS WIDER THAN EVER.
Let's load up, boys. We gotta mission!
"FLIGHT OF THE GOODFEATHERS"
Written by Lance Falk
Directed by Liz Holzman