February 27th, 2004


UGPLOL Race Report

The UGPLOL ran Monza 1967 tonight for a 21-lap virtual race -- the shortest race all season, at just over 32 minutes. Even though I was in the theoretically slowest car because of winning the previous round, I should have done much better than I did. Racing can be a game of inches -- even sim-racing -- and I went just an inch too far... For most of the race, I was running quicker than the eventual winner. That's frustrating...

Next race: Silverstone, England (1967). With the poor finishes tonight by Morgan, Kaynakli, myself and Voeller, there will be some pretty fast cars out there.

Points awarded to top six finishers: 9, 6, 4, 3, 2, 1 -- plus 1 point for pole position and 1 point
for fastest race lap.
Driver    Pts PP FL Wins Aint Salz Zelt Good Oran Snet Adel Mnco Monz  Car for Silverstone

Niemczyk   46  1     3    2    3    6    1    4    1P   3         1    BRM
O'Dell     40  1  1  2    3    2    7    5    1PF  3    4    1    6    Eagle
Voeller    36  1  2  1    4    6    5    2 F  2    8    1PF  2    5    Ferrari
Parlee     32  2  2  2    1PF  1 F  2    3P                            Cooper
Kaynakli   28  2  1  1    6    8P   1PF  8    3    6    2    3    7    Lotus
Diamond    14  1  1       8    9    9   10         4    6    5PF  2    Honda
O'Kerry    14     1                 3    4              5         3 F  Cooper
Cousin     12             5    5   10    9         5    7    4    4    Brabham
Morgan     10  1          7    4    4    6    6    9    8    6    8P   Lotus
Hudson      7     1                      7         2 F  9              Lotus
Black       2                  7    8         5    7                   Lotus

* Voeller had his points taken away at Zeltweg for using the incorrect car.

Click here for race statistics!


Pages 7 and 8 of Monster Allergy #3

I was hoping to do more, but it will be several days before I get a chance to do more translating, so here's the next two pages. Here, we meet other monsters which live in Zick's house, as well as the ghosts of his grandparents.

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The trickiest bit about these pages was the monster with all the eyes. He has a lisp, which means the Italian words written on the page are misspelled. So, I had to figure out what his lisp was in order to work out what he was saying. (In Italian, his R's are rendered as V's.) Once I did that, though, his first line still didn't make sense! It was an Italian expression (literally, "Others would miss us!"), so I then had to do research to see what the meaning of that expression is. It's equivalent to our "God/Heaven forbid!" Then, I had to invent a lisp for him in English. With the English lines, I couldn't find a simple lisp that would show up in both of his lines. It would seem strange to have a lisp in the second part but not the first. So, I decided on the slightly more complicated idea that he says F's whenever lips are pursed, as well as on certain stressed S's. For pronunciation's sake, I had to change the spelling of two words completely -- lisp aside. Hopefully it's not too bad...

The grandfather ghost uses another Italian expression, which I've translated into "What a pickle!" The meaning of the original is "What a pie!"

I'm making Bombo's English grammar worse than his Italian grammar. He does have bad Italian grammar, but I don't think it's as bad as this. However, because English grammar is so flexible, I guess I have to really screw it up to make it evident that he uses bad grammar.

There are Italian rhymes and puns here which are important, also:

The "badges" that make up a monster, well, the Italian word for "badges" is mostrine which of course is very similar to the word mostri ("monsters"). Is there some made-up word someone can think of which can supply a similar pun effect in English? NOTE: The word has been changed to "monstrites" following the discussion below.

"The pod scrambles but does not kill" is a rhyming line in Italian: "Il baccello strapazza ma non ammazza." Again, I couldn't think of anything similarly catchy to use in the translation.

My favorite part of these two pages is Zick's "camera-take" reaction to his grandmother's ghost saying that she's never felt better in all her life -- like he's thinking, "Does she not know she's dead??" or just pondering the absurdity of the line. "All her LIFE?"

Anyway, the next few pages feature Timothy, the ill-tempered feline guardian! Looking forward to that!

Uh, Earth to DMV...

I just got a nasty red-topped note from the DMV saying "final notice" yada yada about overdue registration and they'll seize my bank account, property and so forth if I don't pay up.

OK, two things: First, I never had a FIRST notice. Second, I sold that vehicle eight months ago.

I could fill out and send in another transfer of ownership form, but I don't even remember the name of the guy who bought it anymore. He was a guy who buys bikes and sells off their parts (it had a blown engine), so the bike probably doesn't even exist anymore. The frame has probably been bought by a 250 spec racer.

I guess I'll call Sacramento on Monday and see what the heck is up.